Study at the University of Missouri

A study at the University of Missouri shows that the type of facial features that a woman finds attractive can differ, depending upon where she is at in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If a woman is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. (Yes that is a Rugby player)

If she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Joke of the Day

Dorothy was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed & the instant she saw him she started to cry. One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her.

Through her tears she explained that the reason she was so upset was because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

The attendant apologized and explained that they always put the bodies in a black suit as a matter of course but he'd see what he could do. The next day Dorothy returned to the mortuary to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the attendant pulled back the curtain, Dorothy managed to smile through her tears as Albert was now wearing a smart blue suit.

"How did you manage to get hold of that beautiful blue suit?" She asked the attendant.

"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit.
His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the attendant replied.

"After that it was simply a matter of swapping the heads.................."

Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors

I'm a Professional

I got my APC results today and from the 9th of January 2004 I can call myself a Chartered Quantity Surveyor.

That's... George Ross BSc (Hons) MRICS

Very nice...

Just giving the young boys a chance...

Bush in England

While on his state visit to England, George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing the way my great country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom."

The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."

George Bush thought a while and said: "How about a Principality then?"

To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Bush."

Bush thought long and hard and eventually asked "How about an Empire then?"

The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor."

Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."

ENGLAND RWC 2003

It's the day before one of those life memorable days...

The nerves are building, so I am off to the pub... Slow start this afternoon with a loooonnggg liquid lunch, build up after work and then cane it into the night... the big final at 09:00 (MUST REMEMBER TO WAKE UP... GET TO CLUB FOR 08:00), then an all day session to celebrate a great victory and retribution for 1991.

Below is something I found banding around the e-mails...



Come on ENGLAND!!!