Thursday, April 10, 2008

Male vs Female - Asking permission to go out

My guy friends asked me out for a guy night last week and I was made to sign this ...
____________________________________________________
APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS


Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:_______________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date:________ Time of departure:__________
Time of return NOT to exceed:________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my cell after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer _____ Wine ______ Liquor ______ Total ______

Locations to be visited1: ___________ From:________ To:_________
Locations to be visited2: ___________ From:________ To:_________

Females with whom conversation is permitted: __________

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not with standing the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in diamonds & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ________________


Request is: APPROVED ___ DENIED ____

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
(Cut along the dotted line)
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:_______ Time of departure:________ Time of return:________

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________
________________________________________________________


Just now, she told me that she will be going to Luna with her friends next week and I asked her to sign the same form that she got for me. And she passed me this ....















scroll down for form details ...






















________________________________________________________
APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:________________


I’m going out.

Note: This is a computer auto-generated document which does not require signature.
_________________________________________________