Statistics

Not sure who said all of these, I know Benjamin Disraeli starts us off, but I like them anyways...

There are lies, damn lies and statistics.

Statistics are used the same as a drunk uses a lamp post.
More for support rather than illumination.

Statistics are like bikinis;
What they reveal is interesting,
What they conceal is vital.

Dr Death

I heard Wakefield prisons boxing team were gutted about the passing of Dr Shipman, apparently he had a 'Lethal Jab'!!!!

Every week in Wakefield Prison they have a curry night, Harold had just finished off his Chicken Madras when a guard approached him.
"How was your curry Dr Shipman?"
"Great" Harold replies "But I could have murdered a nan..."

What do Gareth Gates and Dr Shipman have in common?
Neither of them can finish a sentence!