What is the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast
Going to war without the French is like going deer-hunting without an accordion.
What do you call a Frenchmen advancing on Iraq?
A salesman
Why was Jesus not born in France?
Because they could not find three wise men nor a virgin
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, he stands on a ladder and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe Flop
What is the best thing about Britain's relationship with France?
The English channel
In the heat of battle, one brave French soldier followed an order from his commanding officer and, under heavy fire from the enemy, managed to retrieve a despatch case from a dead soldier.
When he returned to HQ, the officer told him: "I', recommending you for a medal after the way you risked your life to save those secret maps showing the location of our secret warehouses".
"Warehouses?" replied the soldier. "Sacre bleu. I thought you said whorehouses".
Ninety-nine per cent of French politicians give the rest a bad name.
Advert: French rifle for sale - never fired and dropped only once.
Did you hear about the Parisian who tried to kill himself by jumping into the river?
He was declared to be "in Seine"
What do you call a Frenchman who expects sex on the second date?
Slow
An American tourist was being shown around Notre Dame cathedral in Paris.
The guide pointed to a grand monument and said: "There lies a great French statesman and a hero"
"That's interesting," commented the American, "I never knew that in France you buried two men in the same grave".
Why do the French not want to bomb Saddam?
Because he hates America, has a silly moustache, wear a beret and keeps a string of mistresses.
What's the definition of confusion?
Father's day in Paris
Why do the French eat snails?
Because they hate fast food
What is the Frenchman's favourite morning routine?
After making love, he gets up, dresses, has breakfast - and then heads home.
Recently a Frenchman in Lyon, went to his local priest and confessed: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II, I hid a Jewish man in my attic."
"That wasn't a sin. It was an act of great kindness," replied the priest.
"But I made him agree to pay me 30 francs for every week he stayed,"
"Well, that was not especially charitable," said the priest "but you did it for a good cause."
"Thank you Father," said the Frenchman "that is a great relief to me. I have just one more question."
"And what is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him that the war is over?"
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